3 Top Coaching Skills for Everyday Use

Coaching skills are applicable in all areas of work and life and will help you lead, influence, and empower effectively. Whatever your day job, your role with your family or with your friends, coaching skills help you lead more compassionately, more effectively and more productively. Here are 3 coaching skills that anyone can learn and apply, every day to help in relationships both at work and at home.

Coaching Skill No 1 – Stay Focussed on The Topic

When someone wants to talk to you, learn to focus, to really tune in and ensure you are focused on what they want to talk about. In coaching we always ‘ascertain an agenda’ before any coaching starts.


In life this is a really useful skill. So many times, conversations get chaotic, misunderstandings happen, work meetings get dragged out to be twice as long as they need to be, families end up arguing……. and many times because we didn’t all stick to the one topic that was initiated for the conversation!

Giving someone time and space to explore their topic fully before moving on, will really help them feel heard. It will help you understand them. It will build trust and rapport. It will help you connect on a deeper level.

Coaching Skill No 2 – The ‘Check In’

When you listen to someone about something that is clearly important to them, something close to their heart, something that in that moment matters to them, take a moment to ensure you really understand and have heard correctly.

In coaching we call this ‘articulating back’, in life it probably just looks like a simple, ‘I’m loving hearing about………… then give a quick summary of what they are speaking about’.

This short affirmation helps the person really know you have heard them. You are not trying to fix or solve their problem. They don’t feel like your next ‘project’ to be sorted! They simply feel heard, valued and understood. Powerful stuff!

Coaching Skill No 3 – Ask the ‘Big Question’!

It’s such an amazing feeling to be able to ask people the ‘Big Question’!

What is the big question?

In coaching we talk about ‘powerful questions’. These are questions that unlock, fix, bring solutions, wisdom, clarity, breakthrough ….and so much more.

The question itself may not seem ‘big’ or ‘powerful’ on its own, but used alongside other expert active listening, at the right time, and in the right context it is incredibly helpful.

Imagine asking a question that enabled your child to know what to do next, or that inspired someone in your team to get unstuck and find a new helpful way forward.

Imagine in a pastoral context, asking a question that brought everything into the light without any need for further help!


This is the type of big question, you can create and use.

The question could be as simple as; ‘What do you truly want?’ Or ‘What are you learning?’ Or ‘What is the significance of all of this?’.

Try coming up with some ‘Big Questions’ in future conversations.

Be blessed to listen with compassion, wisdom and effective tools!

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