In terms of finishing one year and starting a new one, I believe ending the previous year well is so important. I have found from personal experience that taking time to round off a year in a positive way grounds me for the coming year.
Whether the year has been the worst year I can imagine, or a good one, thinking about all that has happened and finding positives to celebrate is so important for me. I take time to reframe what has felt awful. Why? Because whatever may have been awful there is always plenty to thank God for. I have found He is always working for my good. He always brings amazing growth, provision, and so much more, especially in the midst of difficulties and challenges.
For 2023 I did as usual set goals and targets. What transpired, which has become quite usual, is that things happened that were not planned, and which took me off course from meeting goals.
I share my process of leaving behind what hinders me and embracing the new year with much positivity and hope, to encourage you and give you a quick way of propelling yourself forward into all that 2024 has to offer you.
Regarding goals not met, in previous years I would have needed quite a bit of time to come to terms with what would have felt like failure on my part. I may have thought, yikes I got distracted, yikes I didn’t do what I knew I was supposed to do! I would have felt disappointment for some time. This year as I have reflected and continue to reflect on what went down in 2023, I have a new level of grace on myself and on the circumstances.
I haven’t needed ‘mourning time’ on what was not achieved, I can immediately focus on reflecting on what I have done and what has been achieved, instead of what hasn’t.
Whatever did not happen can slip gracefully into 2024 as goals for this year, if these goals are still applicable.
Oh, the joy of not wasting energy on condemning myself and feeling like a failure. I am certainly not a failure. I have achieved awesome things this year.
In this same spirit, I look at what God has done instead of what He hasn’t done. It’s an amazing focus. This sole perspective shift moves me to such thankfulness and praise. I have journaled pages and pages of things I can be thankful for in 2023; big things, and smaller things that He has done, doors He has opened, ways He has blessed our business, people that He has put across our path to develop great connections with, strength He has given me despite having to deal with crisis, guidance He has given me which has averted all kinds of further crisis’s which would have happened, momentum that He has allowed me to gather on new things, new revelation, provision that has come sometimes only just in time, but it has come, ……..and so much more.
This is a perspective I want to recommend you consider. To take this perspective, we have to leave some things behind otherwise we can’t step into fullness of joy and thankfulness. For example, one thing that I must leave behind is disappointment.
This is such a huge one, that I believe each one of us carries in some way. But we don’t have to, we can release it. This is the number 1 thing to leave behind as you move forwards into the New Year.
To leave it behind, firstly, I believe it’s important to give it enough room to be. Our emotions show us our heart, and this is a precious thing. Denying a strong emotion is not good for us. Psychologists will tell you, for example, that anger which is supressed will turn inwards and turn into depression. I believe this is the same for other strong emotions that we have that need to be processed.
So, with disappointment, for example, you will have other emotions wrapped up in it. What are you disappointed about? Maybe you had expectations that have not been met? Maybe you are disappointed as you see yourself or others as a failure? Maybe you are disappointed as things did not happen that you really desired to happen? Maybe you feel you have made bad decisions? Wherever your disappointment may stem from, it can be processed and healed, and you can move on from it. You will feel free, a lightness, and you’ll move forward with a spring in your step ready for the following year.
So first, acknowledge any disappointment you may have. Listen to your internal self-talk about how you feel you are a failure or whatever self-talk you have. I find it helpful to journal this and get the worse of those feelings out. Once it is out and you have given yourself the time you need to fully feel it, it’s time to flip it!
I do this by quickly moving to embrace acceptance. This is a big move! This is a brave move. You should feel proud that you have faced your fears, your disappointment and you are moving on from it.
We must accept that what happened happened, and take an attitude of so what! What has happened is something I can learn from.
I find it helpful to then reflect deeply on the positives. This is being kind to ourselves. I look back at everything I did achieve; where I showed up, how I heard from God, how I adapted and followed my instinct, my gut and my values and how I did good things. All of this exists and just needs to be remembered instead of solely focussing on where I could consider myself a failure. Shifting to this positive focus, shows me that in fact I’m looking at success, growth, healing, positive changes, not failure.
I may need to accept that in fact I made good decisions. I may have allowed myself to be distracted by things that were important to me. That’s ok. I look at how I have grown and learned and developed.
Next the best part! I ask God for His perspective and how He sees what I may have felt disappointed in. I ask for His affirmation of how He is proud of me amid it. I ask Him what He was up to. I ask Him what His agenda was for me that I may not have seen at the time. I ask what He has grown in me and how He has transformed me.
As we move into acceptance, we move into restfulness. We rest in what has been and what is. I find it helpful to thank God for what He has shown me. I thank Him for where I can see He showed up. I find by this time hope starts to flood in and disappointment and all associated feelings with that dissipates.
I hope me sharing this process inspires you to discover what you need to leave behind, how you can end your year well and what to embrace as you move forwards into this New Year.
Lifting condemnation off ourselves in scriptural.
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,
Romans 8:1
The enemy is the accuser of the brethren (Rev 12:10). So, tuning out of those thoughts in your head that are accusing you of ‘not meeting the mark’, or failing, is tuning out from the voice of the accuser. You are renewing your mind (Romans 12:2).
So, take the time to end the past year well. Leave behind disappointment, regret, hopelessness, anger or whatever drags you down. End it with celebration and thankfulness of all that God has done. And move into the new year, with hopefulness, expectation, and huge faith and excitement of how God is going to be with you and guide you and lead you into new opportunities.
Hope this blog helped you. Let me know if it did in comments below.
Tina Southgate
Founder, Destiny Coaching Ministries.