Letting Go

When can letting go be the most productive thing we can do?

How can letting go be a breakthrough key to get us where we want to go?

Why does God like us letting go so much?

Most people who have had coaching or learned to coach, have experienced what it sadly can become, a mechanism to simply push and stretch and force some action forwards.

Most secular coaching approaches focus on setting and achieving goals, coaching you to achieve more and more. The emphasis can be solely on performance and achievement.

But, interestingly, quite often our performance and our achievement go up when we learn to let go in healthy and productive ways.

It’s a juxtaposition, a kingdom mindset, which is in so many ways, upside down and back to front to the way we think things should be.

There is a trend which says, ‘less is more’, but what does this really mean and is it true? Can this idea actually be a really helpful one to align us to live happier, fulfilled and God-Centred lives, fully living in our purposes?

A major difference we as Christians have over someone that chooses not to follow Jesus, is that we live our life to follow a person, who we believe is alive today and whom we commit our life to. This makes letting go, easier I think. Or at least it should do.

For someone who does not have a faith in God, and does not know Him, or trust that He is on their side, letting go is possible, but one would think, somewhat more tricky, because don’t know what forces you are letting go to.

Here are some tips of what you can let go of to become more productive, to get breakthrough and to step into a deeper sense of fulfilment.

Timing

This means to let go of deadlines. These could be on a deadline on a particular goal. It could mean letting go of when a bunch of things will happen in a particular season. It could be that things are just not happening, or progressing, maybe because you are not ready, or maybe there is no apparent reason. Letting go of the timing and trusting God is a sensible move. This doesn’t mean to stop trying, but it does mean, to stop striving and beating yourself up that ‘it’ should have happened by now. We are not letting go of hope, we can still believe that in God’s time, if it is His will, it will come to pass!

Outcomes

We need to become able to let go of detailed and specific outcomes. This could be the exact specifics of your end goal, or who you become, or what happens in your career, or how a particular project or dream turns out. For example, maybe the location will change drastically, maybe the people involved will, maybe the exact focus will change and evolve. You will be surprised of how letting go of outcomes we are holding onto too tightly will release new life into an area. We are not letting go of completion and the belief that it will be completed, just how it may look when it is.

Perfection

This is about letting go of perceived perfection. Perfection is not what we think it is. God has such a different view to us. What we think to be the best, is not necessarily the best or a healthy view. We must let go of what we perceive perfection to be and remain curious to listen to what God’s version of perfection is and what this could look like. This is not about dropping our standards, it more about raising our standards. God’s version of perfection and completion is superior to ours. For those of you looking for a spouse this one will help you. For those of you waiting for perfection before stepping out this will help you. For those of you, feeling stressed about how something is going and whether is will be good enough, this will help you.

Entitlement

This is an uncomfortable one. We all have some level of entitlement. Mostly, we don’t realise we have it and need to let go of it. The truth is, we are not entitled to anything. Rather we are blessed by God to receive all we have. Eeeks……here goes, you are not entitled to be married, you are not entitled to earn a certain wage, you are not entitled to get time with certain people, you are not entitled to be recognised, you are not entitled to have success in whatever you turn your hands to, you are not entitled to help. God wants to bless you with all of this and much more, but you are not entitled to it. Remembering this helps me to stay grateful for everything, especially simple things, like being able to walk, and eat and having a home. It also helps me to constantly remember it’s not by my effort but God Himself that provides. Letting go of any entitlement you may have lingering about, helps you to step into God’s grace on whole new level. This doesn’t mean we don’t work or build, but that when we do, we rely on God to bless the work of our hands, rather than relying on our own abilities. 

So, meditate on these questions and let go. There will be a blessing and breakthrough on the other side beyond what you can imagine!

A Letting Go Coaching Exercise

TIMING

What am I feeling pressure about, that should have happened by now?

What would it take for me to let go of the timing of this/these and entrust God with the timing?

OUTCOMES

What’s most important to me, what specific details and outcomes am I most concerned with?

How can I adjust my expectation of what it will look and feel like and entrust God with the exact finished outcome?

PERFECTION

What am I most concerned with turning out just right?

What does God want to show me about my perceived version of ‘right’?

ENTITLEMENT

What would make me most angry if it didn’t happen to me in my life?

How can I give this desire to God and entrust that He may or may not bless me here, but ultimately He knows best?

This, as well as so many of my blogs, reflect growth that I am working through. I’d love to hear if God speaks to you through this piece and if you do the coaching exercise, your testimony of what happens.

Bless you,

Tina Southgate