There are times when we go through change and transition, and we can feel our very identity being challenged to the core.
This is normal! But this is difficult also. The reason it can be very difficult is because many of us confuse what our identity actually is.
It’s common to have our identity wrapped around a job role or a job title. It can become synonymous to us with our ‘status’, for example, the status that a job title brings. Other roles that we can get mistake as our identity could be being in a parent or a spouse.
Some people can feel a strong sense of identity around what they own or their financial status. Feeling our sense of identity around any of these things, doesn’t help us.
Many times in life these things change. Job roles end, financial situations change, family roles shift when we lose loved ones. If we get our security or a sense of ‘self’ from these things, when these changes happen, it’s very difficult. We need to find our stability and sense of identity in something else.
Whether circumstances change or not, all the above things are somewhat shallow. They don’t equal what our identity is and we won’t get peace and satisfaction aligning our identity with them.
The work I do on coaching identity, helps people to build a strong awareness of who they are outside of any of the above things. It’s a fulfilling and maturing process which brings the clients I work with much peace and a deep sense of finally understanding who they are and what they were created for.
I have had so many people I have coached cry when they finally understand how everything fits together and what all the various jigsaw pieces of their life mean, in terms of their identity and purpose. It’s a precious moment to see this!
So, to hold you in good stead during transition and many aspects of your life, let’s look at how you can build a strong connection to a healthy identity that is truly who you are.
The Co-Creative Coaching Model is packed full of coaching frameworks and tools to build strong, positive identity and purpose. Here are just a few of them with some quick tips on how to strengthen your own identity and purpose
Values
You can identify your top core values. When you do this and then dig in deeply to these to really understand the flavour of them, you understand more of who you are. You can discover what your core values mean to you, and why they are so important to you. Figuring out your top 5 core values and how they integrate into your life, your decisions and your work, helps you to understand why you choose to do things the way you do.
What are you top 5 core values?
Vision
Highly compelling vision builds a strong sense of purpose. Do you have a vision for your life? I mean all aspects of your life, but in particular your work, an assignment on planet earth that you think is worthwhile your time and energy. An assignment that feels so compelling that you feel deeply passionate about it.
What would be the thing you would choose above all else to give your life to?
Working with Metaphors
An exercise I do with clients when taking them through building their sense of identity is to take them to the past, the present and the future (see below). In each place, while connecting to The Lord, I connect them to a picture of who they are being. This is powerful. God gives them a picture, or sometimes they just see it themselves. Getting a handful of pictures (metaphors) that represent your identity, gives you a really strong sense of identity and connection to multiple facets of it. A picture speaks a thousand words. One strong one that God gave me, was that I am a warrior princess. This picture of how he sees me, has been so helpful and encouraging over the years as in different situations I can connect to this strong identity I have. It brings strength and courage to whatever I am doing!
What is one metaphor picture from God be of how He sees you?
Identity from Past Resonant Events
Co-Creative Coaching is very different from standard coaching as it draws on the past, from a very positive perspective. We all have times in our life, when God has given, us glimpses of what it is like to be fully flourishing in who we are. These times are highly resonant and fulfilling. Journeying back to a handful of these times in our memory, helps us to gain a sense of who we are being when we are at our best, how we were created to be. It builds a healthy sense of our identity
What are some times in your life where you were most fully being you?
Building a ‘Life Purpose Statement’
Doing this exercise has for many of my clients been one of the most positive experiences they have had through our sessions. The output of a single one-to-two-page life purpose statement is actually the culmination of around five or six life purpose coaching sessions. The end result of a highly resonant life purpose statement brings clarity, confidence and an anchor to which all activities and process can be aligned. It helps make sense of all the different strands. It’s an emotional experience getting your very own, personal statement! Well worth doing to set a stronger sense of who you are.
What would having your own Life Purpose Statement give you?
Impact
Coaching clients into greater awareness of their impact, helps them to become more aware of their ‘essence’ or their ‘being’. It’s easy to assess what you achieve in a task that’s functional and what the impact of achieving that is. However, exploring your impact in other ways, for example, how you shift atmospheres, what happens in the spiritual realm, what you draw on from heaven to bring to earth when you are fully being you, these are things that are a part of you and who you are.
What impact do you have in the spiritual realm when you are being fully you?
The Grace and Authority Wheel
This Co-Creative Coaching tool explores 8 areas of your life and work as to how aware you are of what you carry in each area. It’s a great tool for making sense of many things that you have experienced in many areas of your life, your work, your family and your relationship with God. The tools brings a stronger sense of purpose and identity by helping you to understand your life from completely difference perspectives. Example areas that are coached are, life experiences, work experience, areas you have natural favour, blessings from your blood line, areas where you have struggled.
Which of the above do you feel you would most benefit from to strengthen your sense of your identity and purpose?
If you’d like some 1 to 1 coaching around any of the above, contact me.
Many of these specific tools are now available a short courses to learn how to coach people through the tools. If you are a trained coach you can sign up for these. If you are starting from scratch as a coach, you can start with our Level 1 Coach Training and then go onto any of these specialist courses.